Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/10911/i-am-heartless-seungho-sunny-taeyeon-thunder
Title: 3/5
The title wasn’t that much catchy to me. It was still a good title that makes the story go along with it.
Appearance: 5/10
There was no character in the description or the foreword. You straightly went onto the story where you write the foreword. I only can know them by where you write the characters, but in the story they come out one by one of who is who. It is much better to write about the character description on the foreword or the description so peoples can know more about them in the story.
Forewords: 8/10
The Foreword and the description was pretty good! You talk about the main girl character who is JaeHwa, but no-one else which kind of made me think… ‘Oh, there’s nothing about the other characters in the foreword.’ Still it gave me interest in the story because the ‘HE’ that you mentioned on the description made me think of who ‘HE’ was… which made me keep on reading the story to know who the ‘HE’ was.
Plot: 16/20
I read all the chapters but the poem part didn’t come into me which I just skipped it to the next page to read the actual chapter, I read the first poem but it wasn’t that interesting or that much catchy to me, which I decided to read the actual chapter which was overall good.
Originality: 19/20
The part where Lee Joon climbs up the tree just made me think about twilight. It must be really hard to imagine boys climbing up the tree that high to meet up with the girl. It just makes me think of Jacob and Edward when reading that part.
The way Lee Joon knows everything about what happened to JaeHwa just freaked me out as well… It made me think like ‘how could he know everything about JaeHwa’ which was also like twilight how Edward can know peoples thoughts and what they are going to do and all those things. I know that I’m relating this to twilight too much, but it just makes me think about twilight when those things happen.
Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 13/15
You had some mistakes but a really easy good eye catching ones. ‘you umma and your grandparents?!’ ‘your umma and your grandparents?!’ and put a lot of ‘-‘ in some words, which you didn’t need to.
Flow: 3/5
The story isn’t finished yet and every second chapter is like a poem and so less chapters that I don’t know how it is flowing at the moment. I still think that it will be a nice story which I’ll keep on reading to know what’s going to happen.
Writing Style: 10/10
I’ll give you 10 points out of 10 for this one, because I like your writing style of the story. It’s simple and neat.
Other++ 5/5
For your good on-going story and because I like Lee Joon from MBLAQ!
Total: 82/100
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