Reviewer: 2pmvietguh
Site: http://2pmvietguh.blogspot.com/
Requester: loveisintheairFanfic: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/74758/wonders-of-a-teenage-girl-2pm-junsu-nichkhun-shinee-taecyeon-wooyoung-you


Title: 3/5The title would have likely gotten my attention. "Wonders of a Teenage Girl", makes me, the reader want to know more about literally, the "wonders", if that makes sense. (In which I think it does.)
　
Appearance: 9/10I loved the background and poster! Since this story is still ongoing, I'm not sure whether Minho will still be in the story or not, but if he were to continue to be present in the story, then I think that it would have been necessary to include him along with the other characters on the poster.
　
Forewords: 8/10The foreword caught my attention. I was looking forward to see how the story unfolds, with Mirae moving to South Korea to live with her brother.

Plot: 14/20Mirae's parents are in debt. She moves to Seoul, South Korea to live with her brother, Junsu. She met Choi Minho on her flight to Seoul and fell for him, vice versa. Within hours, the two declared how much they like each other, and BAM, they're now going out. Her brother and his group members doesn't like her new boyfriend. Things quickly unfold from there: With the fact that Minho's not the guy that he portray himself to be in front of Mirae.
I honestly didn't like the plot as much as I thought I would have. (When I read the foreword) I guess the main reason of that being is because the story's pace was fast. Like in the "flow" section below, I've said that slowing the story down a bit would have made the story better to read. Also, the whole thing with Taecyeon being in love with Mirae was a bit random; it threw me off.

Originality: 12/20(Reviewer's note: Originality is based on me, the reviewer. Just because you (as in readers) have read a fan fic or whatever that's similar to this, it doesn't mean that I have.)
There were some things that I found cliche:

• someone having cancer
• Main girl character is an idol's sibling.
• a character using someone to be their fake lover
• Main girl moving to South Korea.
　 　

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 10.5/15
Here are most of the errors/mistakes that I've found while reviewing your story. Words that are in bold or are in parenthesis are the ones that I've corrected or added:

"Umma, Appa, you'll (be) all right?" Wrapping my arms around them, I whispered.

Did I mention how much I loved asian guys? I love HAM to death. I will do anything to get one!
H ott
A sian
M en
That's what HAM stands for. I was first exposed to HAM when I saw Junsu's boy band group. 2PM is the best and most amazing group in the history of asian idols! Wooyoung is my favorite! He's so adora-

I think that you should italicize your character's thoughts and or put them in quotations. That way you won't confuse your readers. To be honest, when I first read this part, for a split second, I thought this was your (author) thought.
"Mi, for the past 5 minutes you've been fantasizing, the seatbelt light has been flickereing (flickering) like crazy.
　
When I realized that he sad (said) we were in Seoul, I abruptly jumped out of my seat.

"Oppa I missed you too. Its (It's) been way too long."

Haha as much as I love HAM, its (it's) still kind of awkward. Now there's a total of 7 guys -_- whoopee.

"Its (It's) been a while!"
　
I've noticed that no matter what case it was, either for "it is" or "it has", or using it as a possessive pronoun, you still used "its".

"Anyeonghassaeyo (annyeonghaseyo), I am Junsu's little sister, Kim Mirae.

Wooyoung smirking (smirked), then said. "Mi, since I'm obviously the best one here, I'll just give you short introductions to the other members."

"Nooooo Mi! I do it wayy batter (better) than him!"

Come out after your (you're) done unpacking!!"

She's too good for (a) scum like you."

"Poor Taecyeon's already heart-broken."

"I almost got a speeding ticket wile (while) driving here."　
Flow: 2/5The story took on its course way too fast. This story took place probably within a day or two after Mirae arrived in South Korea. In my opinion, I think slowing the story down a bit would have made the story better to read. For example, you could have build up Minho and Mirae's relationship, instead of having them date each other within hours of meeting, things like that.

Writing Style: 7/10I seriously loved your use of Kpop allusion. (2AM, I'll be back, Tell me)

You've had a great use of diction.

I think that italicizing your character's thoughts would have made the story less confusing. It would have clarified that it was the character's thoughts.
　
~2pm~2pm~2pm~2pm~2pm~2pm~2pm~
Other: 5/52pm <3 I love how Wooyoung acts so adorable in this story! ^^

Total: 70.5/100(I don't understand why you've put this in the middle of some chapters)